I'm No Angel (9x3)

Castiel without grace is not just “weaker” Castiel. He’s suddenly breakable, hungry, terrified, and learning in real time that being human means your body keeps making demands whether you’re ready or not. Berly and LA talk through Supernatural Season 9’s “I’m No Angel” and why it hits so hard: it turns a cosmic character into a mortal target right as Heaven decides to hunt him like prey. 

Over drinks, we trace the episode’s biggest story moves: Ezekiel’s uneasy partnership with Dean, the angels’ new leadership under Bartholomew, and the gruesome trail of bodies left behind as vessels become expendable. We also dig into the lore questions the hour kicks up, from warding and tracking to what reapers can do that angels apparently can’t. If you’re searching for a clear recap of the angel civil war plot, the bunker dynamics, and where Castiel’s human arc is heading, this conversation connects the dots without losing the fun. 

Then there’s April, the PB and J kindness, the bedroom turn, and the brutal reveal. We unpack what the show is doing with intimacy, trust, and consent, and how quickly “a safe place” can flip into another threat when Sam and Dean bring Cas back to the bunker only to have him pushed out again. Listen now, then subscribe, share the episode with a Supernatural friend, and leave a review. What do you think Dean should have done when saving Sam meant losing Cas?

Sources:

• https://supernatural.fandom.com/wiki/I%27m_No_Angel 
• https://www.watkinsmagazine.com/49-ways-to-connect-with-your-guardian-angel

Transcript

Tipsy Setup And Prior Recap

Berly 0:01

Welcome to Denim Wrapped Nightmares, a tipsy exchange podcast, where we explore the supernatural series episode by episode.

LA 0:10

Over drinks, we'll discuss the lore, the gore, and what we adore about the Winchesters and their adventures.

Berly 0:17

I'm Burley, and I'm a new fan of the series.

LA 0:20

I'm LA, and I'm here along for the ride. Now let's get tipsy.

Berly 0:26

Hello, LA. Hey Burley. On our last episode, Dean shocks Sam by popping open the trunk of the Impala and showed him that he had Crowley in the trunk. Guest star Mark Shepherd. Kevin, guest star Osric Chow, freaks out when he sees the King of Hell. But Sam and Dean convince him that they need him. They need him to identify the emon the emons, demons on Earth. Meanwhile, Abaddon, guest star Elayman Huffman, re-emerges and plans to take over Hell.

LA 0:59

Alright, well, the episode today is titled I'm No Angel. It is the third episode of season nine, and it aired on October 22nd, 2013. Excuse me.

Reapers And Angel Rules Confusion

Berly 1:11

2013. He says, he says the title of the episode during the episode. He does. He did. Oh, well, before we dig in, you know how they do the then and now thing at the very, very, very beginning? Was the then thing exceptionally long to you?

LA 1:28

It did seem longer, yeah.

Berly 1:30

Okay. I was like, this just seems so long. I mean, I'm not complaining. I just kept waiting for it to end and then it would do more and more. And I was like, what?

LA 1:38

I was like, well, and when I was watching it, because you know, it's like little spoilers, not spoilers, but like setting you up for the episode. And I was like, I feel like there was so much that they had to bring, like with the Reapers, and like just stuff from the past bringing it forward again. So that's maybe why.

Berly 1:55

Okay, and then the other thing about the Reapers, when we met Tessa, she was all like, Oh, like I just we just get to look however we want to look as a Reaper. Like, we're just gonna appear. I don't know why I'm doing this impersonation over here. Oh, come on up and fuck me in the ass sometime. Oh you haven't seen that episode of Drag Race? I'll have to send it to you. But anyway, she was saying, like, oh, we just appear how we want. But then in the show, they were like talking like she had the vessel. And our reapers and reapers are angels. I guess I could see them being like a kind of angel. That does make sense if they're like directing you to heaven or how I just kind of thought they were their own thing because they're like they're neutral, like you're either going up or you're going down. Like, I don't know. It kind of confused me a little bit, but anyway, okay. Moving on. How did the episode begin, LA?

LA 2:52

Uh well, there's two priests, which I thought it was a priest and like a choir boy. He looked so small.

Berly 2:58

He was tiny, yeah.

LA 2:59

But he was handsome though. He was handsome.

Berly 3:01

Putty patootie.

LA 3:02

Yeah. Two priests walking, talk walking and talking. And uh then is she an angel, that lady?

Berly 3:12

I think so. Okay. I thought she was gonna be like the new Naomi, but it's not her. She is not the new Naomi.

LA 3:19

Well, she pops up and is uh she's asking about Castie L. She's like, You you think you know? I think you knew might know Little Little Castile. Then we switch to the homeless shelter, and I guess the homeless shelter is run by the church where we saw the priests.

Berly 3:35

Yes, they explain that later in the episode, some guy in in like an exposition discussion. Yeah. They have to like work to like maintain the property, and like in exchange for that, they like earn their stay. Yeah.

LA 3:48

Yeah. Yeah. Cause then that I I forget what he was talking talking to the guy. Oh, when he was talking to the guy, and he was like, Oh, what did he say? He's like, Do you ever get tired of urinating?

Berly 3:58

Yeah. I was like, Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Urinating and eating. It's like it never ends. You always it people complain about laundry, and I'm just like, Yeah, I hear you, but what about urinating and eating? Like, how every day I gotta figure out what I'm gonna eat. Just ugh. So I felt like it eating. Yeah, I felt it in my bones whenever he said that. I was like, yes.

LA 4:26

He's he's pretty funny in this episode.

Berly 4:29

It was a good one.

LA 4:31

But yeah, so after that, you you see him and he's uh he's on the grounds picking up trash, which gross that he's picking like I like he has the staff thing to pick up the trash and then just puts it in his bare hand and puts it in the trash.

Berly 4:43

Well, don't forget that he also spotted the blood on the floor and just put his finger right in it. Yeah. I was like, You're human now, okay? You're gonna catch diseases. What are you doing?

LA 4:57

But yeah, so he he sees the blood on something, uh, and then he walks over, and those poor priests. Oh my god. I like yelled. I was like, oh my god, awful. Their eyes were gone. And what was what their mouths were just bloody?

Berly 5:12

It was the it was the fence like the spoke. Is that what they're called? Like the thing, it was that like through them. Oh my god, yeah.

LA 5:22

It was disturbing. Yeah, I was kind of surprised. I was like, oh very much. That's dark. Mm-hmm. Not not great for those uh priests trying to.

Berly 5:34

I guess they did not give new Naomi the information that she wanted.

Ezekiel’s Warning And The Angel Hunt

LA 5:38

No, definitely not. So after Cass sees that, he's like, Oh, I gotta go. Yeah, gotta get out of here. And so Sam and Deaner back at the bunker. This bunker, just love it. I just love it. And I thought I forgot. Did he did it when Ezekiel came, does he always flash his eyes blue?

Berly 6:01

I hope so because I love that effect.

LA 6:03

I did too.

Berly 6:04

Okay, I couldn't remember if he had done it before or not, but it was really cool. He did before he came to life and like spread his wings and beat up those guys in the last episode. They flashed blue.

LA 6:15

I liked it though, because like they would flash blue and then they the camera kind of panned behind Dean, and then on the other side was Ezekiel, and then they did it when he flashed back to Sam.

Berly 6:27

I agree. I noticed that. So I I was watching it and I was like, the eye flash blue, and I was like, I like that effect, albeit it's not necessary because Jared Padalecki does a good enough job that we can tell just from what he's doing and how he's speaking. We can tell if that is Sam or Ezekiel. So it's not necessary, but I still like it, you know. Oh, yeah. I still like it. But yeah, the panning, they used that almost every time. It might have been every time, but I know they used it at least twice with the panning of the camera moving either behind Dean and in front of Dean or behind Sam and in front of Sam to I loved that touch. I'm curious who directed this. The script, the script needed some work, all right. The script needed some work, but there were some interesting um shots and walking and shot plans and everything in this.

LA 7:15

Yeah. And like you said, Jared was so good. I mean, he was good switching back and forth, but like at the very last second when he switches back to him, it was like it was so good. I I was um he impresses me with this Ezekiel character. Yeah. Anyway, so um Ezekiel shows up and he tells Dean that the angels are forming, like getting together to because they want to hunt down Castie L. So they need to find him.

Berly 7:44

I also like Dean's reactions to it switching back and forth, that he's like having trouble because it switches back to Sam and he's just like, yeah, so you know, if they're organizing, we we're gonna have to do something about that. And Sam's like, why would they be organizing? What are you talking about? And Dean remembers, oh, that wasn't Sam I was just talking to about that. Uh I mean he had to stay on his toes in this episode, our Dean. He did.

LA 8:09

They decide they gotta they gotta find their boy before the angels do.

Bartholomew’s Vessel Plan Goes Wrong

Berly 8:14

Mm-hmm.

LA 8:15

And then we switched to a like a like a televangical guy, like filming for like his preaching and whatnot. And he comes off set, and there's this uh nice looking guy in a suit, and we learn.

Berly 8:31

You thought he was nice looking? I thought he looked like the guy in like clean cut looking. Oh, clean cut, yeah, yeah. Yeah. There's there's an episode of Parks and Recreation where April goes and like interns for this politician, and they're like theorizing that he's actually a robot. And I'm pretty sure it's the same actor. Oh, I well, I can see that. Yeah, right? Like, I think it's him. That's funny.

LA 8:55

Bartholomew. Bartholomew, not Bart. No, I liked that he the guy kept calling him Bart. He was like, it's Bartholomew.

Berly 9:00

Bartholomew.

LA 9:02

Get it right. Oh, Reverend Buddy Boyle. That was his name.

Berly 9:07

Reverend Billy, baby Billy. Reverend Billy Billy.

LA 9:13

Uh the this was awful too, because as they're talking, this random girl comes in and she just she wants to be a vessel. She wants to serve for for him. And so he brings a uh an angel in to put in her in the white the white smoke or whatever it is, and it's successful. She's she takes over and she's a vessel, but not for long. Okay, so she explodes.

Berly 9:43

Hang on, but I think it's because Bartholomew is an asshole, right?

LA 9:48

Well, yeah.

Berly 9:49

He double penetrated her. Whenever he stood up and was like, uh, it came through two windows on either side of him, and they came in and they both they double penetrated her. You can't you can't just start with one. Like all the other angels know to start with just two fingers, but you're gonna go straight to the double penetration. No wonder our girl exploded.

LA 10:14

But what a way to go. It was gross. She literally exploded.

Berly 10:20

Her eyes like leaking and all that stuff. Yeah, yeah.

LA 10:24

So I felt I felt pretty bad for her. Yeah. She that really didn't go the way she wanted it to.

Berly 10:31

Yeah, I'd say so. Not not what she wanted.

LA 10:34

So, anyway. Um, and Bartholomew's ex explanation is just, you know, not everyone is able to contain an angel. Yeah, you know, there's gonna be casualties.

Berly 10:47

Especially with all this double penetration I'm planning on.

Castiel Attacked As A Human

LA 10:50

Well, yeah. I mean. Goodness. Then we're back to Castillo, and he's hanging out under a bridge with some fellas, and uh he's chatting with the guy again. I forget he says something funny there too. I think that's when he was talking about complaining about eating and stuff.

Berly 11:08

Oh, was he? I missed that one.

LA 11:10

Yeah, I think so. He goes and tries to get some sleep in this like abandoned broke down bus. And as he's sleeping, creepy is uh peeping on him. Right? Creepy pharmacist. I like these notes. It says Castille feels it. He feels it. He goes to investigate uh when an angel attacks him and slashes his arm. Yeah. It was a pharmacist, right? Yeah. Crazy guy. Well, angel, whatever. Um but the angel uh after he slashes his arm, he realizes he's like, Oh, you're human.

Berly 11:51

Yeah, they don't know. That's why I thought they were all after him, because I thought they knew that he was used for the spell, but I guess they didn't. Yeah. They thought that he just was like an accomplice.

LA 12:04

Well, luckily, he's got his angel blade, so he takes out the pharmacist. See ya before he can take him.

Berly 12:11

Hanging out after hours in your white lab coat still.

Winchesters Follow The Death Trail

LA 12:15

Creeping on somebody's creeping on people. Well, then we go, Sam and Dean are trying to find out where Castiel is. They the last place they saw him, uh, or the last place they talked to him, they've like put a little search out of where he could be from one day, two days out, three days out. So, and then Sam's realizing that um and within their little radius that they've created, uh, that there was there have been some weird deaths. The two priests and then our blow-up girl. Exploding girl, double penetration girl. There you go. Yeah. And so they think like, let's let's follow this. Head there and see if we find him. I'm sorry, he's really distracting me. I can't. You gotta wait. It's just a little bit longer. Get him those buttons. Well, I have bells at the door, I but he I don't need him. I know he like sits here and stares at me and whines when he wants to go out. Anyway, sorry. You're good. Thanks to Bartholomew, they the angels are finding many vessels to go after Cass. I like in the notes that it starts calling him Bart. He'd be pissed. It is not Bart, okay? But he finds out about the um pharmacist that Cass killed him. And they are trying, they were trying to track him because or oh, I'm sorry, they couldn't track him because he's warded.

Berly 13:48

Yeah. How'd you like that scene where he went in there and the woman's tattoo in the middle of tattooing another person and he just walks up to her hands or money and lifts up his shirt? I was like, yeah.

LA 14:01

Oh my god.

Berly 14:02

And she stops what she's doing and looks at what he's showing her, and it's just like, uh-huh.

Reaper Tracker And Warding Questions

LA 14:07

All right. Good for you. So yeah, so he got the Enochian tattoo on him.

Berly 14:14

So here's my other question, right? So, like, he's warded against angels. Well, so are Sam and Dean. They've been warded against angels since Cass branded their ribs. So, why how was the Reaper able to find Sam and Dean and Angels weren't? That's a good question.

LA 14:33

Reaper magic. Yeah, yeah, I don't know.

Berly 14:36

Yeah. I mean, everybody's gotta die, right? So maybe there is no warding for Reapers. They're gonna find you.

LA 14:43

Yeah.

Berly 14:43

We'll go with that.

LA 14:44

Yeah, so good old Bart finds himself a Reaper, Maurice, uh, to track down the Winchesters to get to Castell. That's his plan. Uh Sam and Dean are investigating that latest angel kill, um, looking for any way they can find Castill, any hints, clues. Uh, they learn about uh Reverend Boyle's videos. So then they go and question a group of homeless people, and one of the guys is the guy he was talking to under the bridge, and he tells them that Cass uh maybe headed to Detroit. Then we see the Reaper he did find the Winchesters, and he's following them.

Berly 15:25

Like eerily, just kind of hiding. Another creeper. Yeah. I liked the creepy shots. They always they they would pick not all of them, but some of the shots they picked, like interesting little angles, interesting little places to have the person standing and watching. Just made it visually interesting.

Cass Meets April And Gets Betrayed

LA 15:43

The reap the reaper's a creepin'. The reaper's a creeper. The reaper's a creeper. There you go. Uh then we see poor cast raiding through the garbage behind, I'm guessing like a restaurant or something. This woman kind of comes up on him and she offers him her sandwich. She offers him more than that later. P B and J. Oh, that's true. I was wow. Okay.

Berly 16:08

She was like, You're looking for something to eat? I got something you can eat. Come back from the place.

LA 16:15

Yeah, she after she's done with her shifts, she like finds Cass out in the back again. She's like, Hey, come on home with me. She's like, I don't normally do this. Like, you don't?

Berly 16:26

Because it kind of seems like you do.

LA 16:28

You seem pretty comfortable with it. Yeah. Um, so she patches up his arm for him and then she teaches him a thing or two in the bedroom.

Berly 16:38

Yeah. Before this, whenever he was in the church talking to that woman.

LA 16:43

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot about that.

Berly 16:45

That triggered me. Why? Just this day and age, whenever somebody is like, I have information that you don't have. Let me share this information with you. And the other person being like, I don't care. Okay, that's your truth. I know my truth. I was just like, I'm triggered. I'm triggered. Yeah, yeah. Get out of there. Let's move on. True. But anyway, yeah, Cass gets laid. And he liked it.

LA 17:12

Yeah. Yeah. She made sure to let him know he did it, he did okay.

Berly 17:16

Cass fucked a girl and he liked it. Yes. How corny was it whenever she was like, what or what are you gonna do next? And he's like, Well, I hope more of this. And he had that big smile on his face. I was laughing and kicking my feet. She said, She said, Nope. Yeah, not gonna happen, buddy. She was like, Hey, uh, you want more penetration? I'll show you more penetration. With this, yeah. You and I are both our fists and nobody can see us with this angel blade. Yeah, I didn't see that coming. Me neither. Especially because she looks so cute with her little pigtails making food in the kitchen. And then it was like, nope, I'm evil.

LA 17:57

Poor Cass. Can't even find a lady just that sticks around.

Berly 18:01

Here we are. We're like episode three, and they're like, you know what? Let's have Cass, you know, lose his consent. Yeah. Nobody gets to have consent this season.

Reaper Interrogation And Naomi Update

LA 18:11

Guess not. Well, Sam and Dean realized that they were being followed by the creepy reaper. Reaper creeper. Yeah. So they confront him and like another yet another abandoned warehouse. And they find out Naomi's dead and Bartholomew is now running things. And um they kind of beat the hell out of him for information. Um, but he's not really giving any up, so they just kill him.

Berly 18:41

Yeah. Like he's useless, useless to us.

LA 18:44

Dead.

Berly 18:45

Get out of here, creeper reaper. Uh so Dean's. I don't know. I think that April's the Creeper Reaper. Uh, true. You know? That is true. I guess they're they were both creeper reapers. True.

LA 18:59

But yeah, so Dean's frustrated that they can't find Cass, so he asks Ezekiel to come back through.

Berly 19:06

I like how he did that too. Because he got so pissy with him earlier. Now, granted, I think that he was valid because at the beginning of the episode, Sam's like in the middle of a sentence, and Ezekiel just chooses to take over and be like, hey, yeah, this isn't relevant information right now, but I just think you should know immediately that uh your boyfriend's in trouble. And then Dean was like, I'll let you know whenever I want help. So I thought that was funny that it came back and was like, I'm letting you know. And Sam's like, what? And he's like, I'm letting you wink wink, I'm letting you know. And it did the panning thing in this scene again.

LA 19:43

Yeah.

Berly 19:44

Very cool. Very cool.

LA 19:46

Ezekiel is like, well, you can't find Cass because he's warded. He got himself warded. And so Ezekiel, no, sorry, Dean asks Ezekiel to look for any Reapers that might be uh trying to hunt him down.

Rescue Fight And Dean’s Lie

Berly 20:00

Do you think Ezekiel found them when they were fucking? I hope not. Poor Cass. Because they got there pretty early the next morning. Do you think Ezekiel was like, oh, I found him?

LA 20:12

I didn't think about that. Poor Cass. Well, anyway, they do find him. They bust in on uh April, torturing him. Yeah. Which I was like, oh god, like she just stabs him.

Berly 20:28

Yeah, like kick in the door, and she stabs him with the angel blade. And because he's tied to the chair, right? Like he's tied, he's immobile, really. There were only so many acting choices Misha Collins had to react to said penetration with the angel blade. And so he just like, he just like went, oh and I cracked up. I know it was not supposed to be funny, but I could not help it. I thought it was funny. And again, like I said, I don't know what else he could have done. I mean, you're getting stabbed, you're going to react to that, but because of how he was tied up, that was literally the only reaction he could go with. Like, what else is he gonna do? I don't know if it would have been less funny if he threw his head back, but like, would that have been natural whenever you're getting stabbed where he got stabbed? So he did, I'm just saying, he made the right call. Yeah, but it was just visually very funny to me.

LA 21:36

After she stabs him, penetration. Oh, yes.

Berly 21:40

This is the penetration episode.

LA 21:42

She just flies the boys across the room. Yeah. And poor, poor Sam just always gets the worst of it. You know, he's gets thrown into the closet and everything falls on him. Yeah. But then uh no worries, uh Dean can. April. He takes her out. Thank goodness. Oh, what happens? Ezekiel takes out. Oh, that's right. Zeke comes in back and heals Castell. So he's not dead. Thank goodness. I was worried.

Berly 22:16

He was too. Remember earlier in the episode? He was like, Oh my god, I'm gonna die one day. That sucks.

LA 22:21

Yeah. Um, well, Dean lies to him when he's like, What happened? Uh how am I live? He's like, Oh, you just got dinged. Yeah. Just a little ding from April.

Berly 22:34

And no, he told her, he said, you got dinged to Sam. He was like, So you were out. He told he told Cass that he threatened April that if she healed Castie L, he wouldn't kill her. And then Cass, and then Cass was like, You lied. And Dean was like, Yeah, I do that.

LA 22:56

Oh well, they take Cass back to the bunker and he's loving it.

Berly 23:00

Oh my god, so cute.

LA 23:02

He was like, So much food, water pressure's great.

Berly 23:06

I had no idea these things mattered before, but man, they make a difference.

LA 23:13

Well, Sam's questioning Dean on how he knew, like how he knew to where to find Cass. And Dean lies again. Yeah, right. Um, and he's put he searched Maurice's pockets and found an address or something. Anyway, Cass reveals that he learned a lot about being human and reveals he did, in fact, have sex with April.

Berly 23:36

He seemed so proud of himself, too. He did. Well, the boys seemed like, oh, yeah. They were they were like, okay, cool. Our little boys grown up. Yeah.

LA 23:47

It was cute.

Berly 23:48

They're probably like, do we need to get him some magazines? Like, what? Yeah.

LA 23:53

Oh, I liked when he was uh when Dean asked him if he uh had protection. And he was like, Yeah, I had my angel blade.

Berly 24:05

We think we're getting our happy little family moment with Kevin and Cass and everybody in the bunker, which is what we thought was gonna happen this season. Happy family. Happy family, but uh-oh.

LA 24:16

No, Ezekiel shows up, Rain's on the parade. Yeah, and he's so serious, he's like, he has to go. Right. It's he's gotta go or I'm going. You know, can't be here. He just can't do it. I don't want to deal with these other angels showing up trying to find him. Um this is which I was like, okay, yeah, because we don't want to lose the bunker. Right. I was like, sorry, Cass.

Berly 24:40

But uh and the episode begins with him literally just being like, hey Cass, you can't know, and just like that's it.

LA 24:48

You gotta go.

Berly 24:49

Yeah, he's yeah, how did that conversation go?

LA 24:52

Yeah, I don't know, but we're gonna have to see next time because Cass wasn't happy.

Berly 24:55

No, he thought he was he thought he was gonna be safe finally after struggling for all these days, people trying to kill him left and right, and now he's in this safe place that's worded against everything, and they're like, Yeah, it's great, right?

LA 25:10

Get out, get out of here, you get out of here. So we'll have to see next next time what happened there. This episode was written by by Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross Lemming, directed by Kevin Hooks.

Gore, Adore, Lore Guide, Closing Quote

Berly 25:29

Kevin Hooks seems new. Yeah. Hang on, let's see here. That's not a name I recognize. Supernatural, I'm no angel. Man, Brad Brad and Eugenie are gonna make sure that there's some questionable sex in their episodes, aren't they? They did the one with the with the dog. They're like, yeah. Yeah, this is a one and done director. This is the only episode they did. We liked some of your choices, Kevin. Yeah. Brad and Nucini. Questionable. All right. Gore. So, I mean, the goriest things, obviously, we have Cass getting stabbed and nicked and all of those kinds of things, but I'm sure we can agree the goriest things was double penetration girl and the two priests at the beginning. For sure, yeah. And I mean, we even saw other people who had been smited by the angels so that they had no eyes and stuff, but just the way I think it was the cut for me that did it because it's like showing Castell, and I'm all like, oh, he's got this beard now, and like he's he's a little bit more tan, I think, now that he's human, and he's looking up, and it just cut to the close on the priest's face.

LA 26:45

Like, yeah, yeah, it was so startling.

Berly 26:49

It was. I like literally yelled out. So yeah, I mean, that was effective. But I think both choices were effective and done well. I saw stuff stuck stuck to the wall in the blood splooge, which by the way is our 74th blood splooge of the Supernatural series. I noticed when that happened and it got on uh baby Billy and the wall, there was there was chunks of stuff sticking to the wall. Oh, yeah. So that means Benson went and did some shopping, got some bread and some banana and whatever for everything. It was a good splooge. It was good gore. I I I enjoyed the gore in this. Did you adore anything about this episode, LA?

LA 27:28

Probably Cass in general. Mm-hmm. He was just some of the stuff he said was funny, and then he got laid. Good for him, you know.

Berly 27:36

I'm enjoying human cass. Like I feel like the writers have kind of struggled with what to do with him because what do you do with this all-powerful figure? And so it's going to be nice to see that that's not going to be such an obstacle they have to get around now. They're actually going to be able to put him in scenarios that he can't just white light his way out of. Yeah. You know? So I I agree. Cast this was a fun Castile episode. Fun Castle focused. And Jared Padalecki, the switch in, the switch in between Zeke and Sam Winchester. I'm I'm enjoying that performance, which is so nice because oh my god, Sam got on my nerves last season. With the Amelia stuff. I was just like, oh, well, yeah. So I'm happy they gave him something interesting to do this season. True. I'm excited to see how that goes. Well, for lore. I know what we're all thinking after watching that episode, right? How do I get an angel in the sack? Oh, yeah. Right? That's what we're all thinking. Fuck consent. How do I make this happen? Well, today's lore is how to woo your guardian angel. A 10-step guide. You ready? Take notes. Take notes, listeners. So you've decided to pursue a relationship with a celestial being. Bold choice. Yeah. Here's everything you need to know about landing and keeping that divine connection. No double penetration, though, guys. Okay? We saw that's a no-no. Don't do that. You'll explode. Step one: make your intentions clear. Set a clear and firm intention that is full of love and faith. Nothing kills the mood faster than ambiguity or mispronunciation. Ambiguity. Your angel has watched over you since birth. The least you can do is be upfront about your feelings. Step two, slide into their dreams. It is often easier for your guardian angel to reach you through dreams. Before going to sleep, ask your guardian angel to help you feel its presence. Keep a journal by the nightstand. Nothing says, I'm serious about this. Like waking up at 3 a.m. to frantically document a feather sighting. Step three, ask. Then ask again. Remember, these angels are usually all about consent. Not this season, but usually. Asking is a fundamental requirement. Angels respect our free will, okay? So asking is fundamental to feeling their presence, help, advice, protection, guidance, and penetration. They will not shoot their first shot. The ball is entirely in your court. We saw that with April, okay? Be persistent, but not desperate. There is a fine line. Step four, learn their love language. Create a special language of communication. Notice the signs so that when you see them, you will feel that your angel is there. Feathers, white lights, meaningful coincidences. Angels communicate exclusively through things you could also attribute to pure chance. Romance has never been more ambiguous. Step five, set the atmosphere. Create an altar for your guardian angel. I kind of have something like that going on with Gabriel. Like my picture. A visual reference with pictures, crystals, flowers, and little offerings. Also recommended, like a P like a PBJ offering. They apparently like those guys. Also recommended orange essential oil and the crystal lapis lazuli. Nothing says I've put an effort. Like carefully curated crystal arrangements for a being made of pure light who technically doesn't have a nose. Oh. You're putting essential oils out for somebody who can't smell it. Yeah. Okay, so that joke that joke that joke failed. Okay, let's move on. Step six, get outside. Nature brings us closer to ourselves and angelic realms. Aim to connect with your guardian angel while in natural surroundings. Take the relationship outdoors. Who doesn't love a little expositionism? Hey, a scenic walk is romantic for everyone, apparently including incorporeal divine entities. Step seven, work on yourself first. You'll need to open your heart, be kind, become pure, practice inner and outer purification. Whoa. Cultivate sublime arts. Embrace playfulness. Practice yoga. Smile. I'm gonna punch somebody. Laugh. And become a godly channel. Essentially become your best self before sliding into the divine DMs. Step eight, write them a letter. Write a love letter to your angel. Keep it heartfelt, genuine, and avoid starting with hey. Use spell check because first impressions matter. Step nine, ask them to hang out. You know, come over. Even when you don't need anything. Ask your angel to be with you in your everyday life, not just your moments of need, but also when you go for a walk, when you have something to eat, when you're meeting up with someone else. Yeah, maybe it'll make them jealous. Relationships built solely on crisis intervention rarely flourish. Invite them into the mundane. They've seen everything anyway. Step 10. Commit fully. The best time to connect with your guardian angel is all the time. Here and now. Why not? Go for it. There is no casual arrangement here. This is a full-time, divine relationship requiring constant faith, gratitude, and spiritual availability. Your angel has been loyal since day one. The least you can do is show up. Did you like that? I did. Alright, so technically I took liberties with information from an article about 49 steps to connect with your guardian angels. Jesus! But you know, tomato tomato. Good luck out there. Here's hoping you all get your angelic two fingers soon.

LA 34:06

That's good.

Berly 34:08

You like that?

LA 34:11

Okay, quote to close it out. This is Castiel. And he says, There's more to humanity than survival. You look for purpose, and you must not be defeated by anger or despair. Or hedonism for that matter.

Berly 34:25

Cheers. Cheers. Thank you for listening to Denim Wrapped Nightmares.

LA 34:32

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